Geography Lesson

Andrew (6)

There are two dangerous places in the United States. Yellowstone and Iowa.

We later figured out that he meant Hawaii.

Things I Learned on Our Trip to California (In no particular order)

  • No matter how many times the kids go to the bathroom before you leave the house, someone will have to go within an hour after you leave. Especially if you have just passed the last rest stop for 60 miles.
  • Expecting the kids to use the the trash bag you gave them for their snack refuse is wishful thinking.
  • No matter how big your vehicle is, it’s never big enough.
  • Calexico is a border town. No matter how nice the neighborhood is, if your kids are white they are targets for cross-border kidnapping. Don’t let them play in the front yard.
  • “Hairlip” is actually spelled “harelip”. That explains why I never understood where the word came from before.
  • Dates, like coconuts, come from Palms which aren’t actually trees.
  • It can rain in Southern California in the winter. This is the first trip in twelve years where we saw rain and it fell continuously while making a three hour drive at night over the mountains.
  • Bad Catholic music is everywhere. Even in parishes with good priests. (ZING Allelulia clap, clap, ZING alleluia clap, clap, ZING alleluia to the Lord) Bleghh.
  • The developers who built the neighborhood near my in-laws house are voting for Hillary. The streets are all named after presidents. Traveling down Clinton street you will find a cross street called Hillary.
  • The head of the Imperial Valley Democratic Party is an Extraordinary Minister at his parish.
  • Having thirteen cousins under the age of nine together for a sleepover will tax your patience to the limit.
  • The three-year-old’s bladder is triggered by any mention of water or bathroom.
  • The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe gets worse on the second viewing.
  • Watching the series summary before the new episode of Lost and then the season premier leaves me knowing as little as everyone else who has been watching for the last couple of years.


As Annie came sobbing to the breakfast table this morning:

“Why are you crying?”

“I’m not crying (sob, sob). My eyes just won’t stop watering.”